Beyond Pain: Harnessing Spiritual Growth from Suffering
How suffering from a nasty upper respiratory is giving me life lessons and drawing me closer to God.
“Each time you offer the surrender, each time you trust the dying, your faith is led to a deeper level of discovery of a larger self.” Richard Rohr, The Universal Christ
On Black Friday, that ubiquitous day after Thanksgiving, I started feeling sick. Although it was a mild virus, a lingering cough continued and started dissipating a few days before New Year’s Eve. However, on New Year’s Day, I had a sore throat. A few days later, I went to the doctor wheezing and coughing again, feeling the sickest I have in my adult life. I tested negative for the flu. The doctor told me he was prescribing antibiotics to be on the safe side because I have asthma.
I’m still sick, although better. It would be easy for me to whine and complain about being sick for so long. I had a hard time enjoying the trappings of Christmas. However, the meaning of Christmas, that God came and lived as we do, became more real to me. I decided to stop myself from complaining. Instead of complaining, I am looking for the lessons in this time of sickness.
Lessening suffering by accepting reality
“When we’re open, we see more.” Allison Moorer
In Richard Rohr’s book, The Universal Christ, he says that in Christianity, the “pattern of spiritual transformation is death and resurrection.” “Christians learn to submit to trials because Jesus told us that we must ‘carry the cross’ with Him," Rohr adds. When we carry our crosses, we accept the trials that come our way. For example, I accept that I am sick, and choose to not complain about it. We know that each trial perfects our faith.
For our true selves to emerge, our false selves must die. Suffering is a great way for our false selves to die. It’s not the way any of us would choose, but it works. We can rail all we want about the unfairness of our particular trial. It doesn’t change anything and thwarts the dying of the false self. Accepting our trials doesn’t mean we go around acting like Pollyanna. It means we ditch phrases like, “Why me?” Instead, we take a deep breath and embrace the lessons that suffering brings.
It is far from easy. Last night, I had to catch myself numerous times from going down the rabbit hole of complaining. I was congested, and I couldn’t breathe through my nose. I didn’t get to sleep until 4 a.m. I chose to stop myself from whining about being sick. I accepted that I am and wrote in my journal about what I am learning as a result of this illness. I don’t like suffering. Who does? However, suffering that we don’t choose is one of the ways we grow. We don’t have to add to our suffering by creating more. Denying reality by complaining leads to more suffering, as my therapist told me.
Seeing with a clearer spiritual vision
“We must feel the reality and presence of God through all external things, without exception, as clearly as our hand feels the substance of paper through the penholder and the nib.” Simon Weil, Waiting For God
Suffering is one way to know and feel the presence of God. We live in a world filled with suffering, and none of us can avoid experiencing it. We can let it bring us closer to our Creator. We are not alone. We are never alone. An unseen hand holds us up, even during our most painful moments. All we have to do is grab on and not let go.
I thought the best way to grab on was through my practices of meditation, centering prayer, and Bible reading. The past six weeks have taught me that intimacy with God is deeper than spiritual practices, and I can’t always do my practices. I have simply been too sick to do them. However, I find myself jotting down prayers in my journal. I write down praises to God. They come spontaneously, probably because I have worked hard to quash complaining. My heart sees with a clearer vision.
I would never choose this path to gain growth, but I welcome that growth with both hands. Usually, I do a Daniel fast in January, a time of eating only plant-based foods as Daniel did in the Old Testament (Hebrew Bible). This year, I realized that I didn’t need to do a fast to gain spiritual insights. Suffering from an illness gifted me with them. I bow my head in gratefulness for the lessons and clearer vision.
Resources
The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
Waiting For God by Simone Weil
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Love you and praying for your healing, mine too. One day at a time with Jesus! <3
I'm so sorry you feel badly but you seem to be handling it better than I Love you,
Sal