Coping With Trauma Recovery Fatigue
For the past three weeks, I have been dealing with intergenerational trauma in EMDR (eye movement and desensitization) therapy. As a result, I have felt lighter and freer emotionally. However, I am also extremely exhausted. I need around 12 hours of sleep and sometimes an afternoon nap. Due to my badly overwrought Protestant work ethic, I have a hard time with my need for so much sleep.
I figured the exhaustion comes from the allergy shots I get once a week, until it occurred to me that the fatigue is linked to trauma recovery. I researched EMDR fatigue and discovered it exists. EMDR helps clear trauma, and that takes much mental and emotional energy. It takes considerable emotional work to process trauma. Our minds and bodies are connected. When we process trauma, it taxes us emotionally, which shows up in our bodies.
My recent EMDR sessions have cleared enormous amounts of intergenerational trauma. As a result, my body feels drained. My body stored the trauma, both mine and my ancestors, for a long time. It is only natural that my body requires extra hours of sleep. It does not feel pleasant at all, but it does represent progress in trauma recovery. I have lived my life in survival mode, existing on adrenaline and cortisol. I am no longer in that mode. My body currently compensates by requiring rest.
The Importance of Self-Care After EMDR
Dealing with EMDR fatigue means practicing good self-care. I have spent my life belittling myself, so I am learning how to treat myself with gentleness and kindness. That means prioritizing sleep while I am processing trauma. My sleep habits are, at best, poor. I am working on going to bed earlier. I fight sleep because nighttime has always been scary for me. The sexual abuse I suffered as a young child occurred at night.
When I am sleepy at night but fighting it, I grab my journal and write down how I feel. It helps to write about it. It’s there in my notebook in black ink. When I admit how I feel, I can come up with strategies to get to bed earlier. One of those strategies is telling myself that I am safe. I repeat it silently over and over. It’s my mantra.
Three weeks ago, I started practicing somatic yoga. It helps clear any emotions that come up after an EMDR session. Practicing it before bed helps me relax and realize that I am safe. Nutrition is equally as important as exercise. I make sure I get enough fiber, fruit, and veggies. I admit my appetite has often been poor lately, so I need to eat something healthy when I’m hungry.
Drinking plenty of water helped me cope with long covid, and I know it’s essential now. I keep a 20-ounce water bottle nearby. I allow myself a big cup of coffee when I get up. The rest of the day, I drink water religiously.
This is a time of deep healing for me. It requires much energy, and all of the self-compassion and care I can muster. The other side of trauma processing is freedom. My eyes are firmly fixed on that goal.