“The point is to feel the loving kindness throughout your body.” Pa Kou Vue
Each week, my therapist teaches me a new skill to help me recover from childhood trauma. This week, she taught me about loving-kindness meditation (LKM). She described it as saying a prayer for ourselves and others that increases love and compassion. With this meditation, you start with yourself. Trauma survivors tend to be very critical of themselves and have low self-esteem, so it makes sense that we would start with ourselves.
LKM benefits the brain, as studies show:
One study found that LKM increased positive emotions, as did another study.
LKM decreases PTSD symptoms while increasing emotional regulation.
Researchers found that LKM alleviates self-criticism, increases self-compassion, and reduces depression.
It might be hard for some trauma survivors to start with themselves. My therapist recommends starting with someone you already love until you are comfortable starting with yourself.
“You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself.” Pa Kou Vue
Practicing loving-kindness meditation
I created a guide for practicing LKM combining my therapist’s instructions with something I found on the Literature and Liturgy site:
Get in a comfortable position.
Take a few deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose for four minutes and out through your nose for six minutes.
Open your hands and put your palms upwards.
Repeat the following: May I experience God’s love. May I experience God’s rest. May I experience God’s peace.
Take five deep breaths.
Now, think of someone you love as you say the following: May they experience God’s love. May they experience God’s rest. May they experience God’s peace.
Take five deep breaths.
Extend loving-kindess to the whole world: May all beings everywhere experience God’s love. May all beings everywhere experience God’s rest. May all beings everywhere experience God’s peace.
Take five deep breaths.
Incorporating loving-kindness into our lives
One of the biggest benefits of LKM is that we become more loving people. Loving people forgive others, even when our instincts tell us to hang onto grudges. My therapist says that holding grudges is like drinking poison and hoping the other person is hurt. LMK helps us forgive those who have wronged us. It stops us from drinking the poison that will never hurt the other person.
We are on a healing journey, one that takes twists and turns. We pick up tools along the way that help us heal our brains and bodies. LMK is one of those tools. Join me in picking it up daily and using it. Let us watch as we reap the benefits.
Image by John Hain from Pixabay
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Thank you so much Gina for your gift of kindness and for caring about others on this healing journey of life. I plan on incorporating these new tools into my healing journey. Love and appreciate you very much. <3