I recently saw a new therapist who specializes in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Being my first visit, she spent the hour asking me questions. We will set goals for my recovery next week. The following week, I will start DBT. She assigned me homework: researching the founder of DBT. I became excited as I love doing research. I will share what I learned in my next article.
I can do hard things. That is my new motto. It is overwhelming starting DBT, at least for me. It is something new, and as a friend pointed out to me yesterday, I don’t like change. But change is the one constant in this universe. Seasons change, circumstances change, and our bodies change. Accepting change is something I am focusing on now, and DBT is part of that focus.
I don’t like change because I had no control over my body as a young child due to sexual abuse. Sticking to routines and avoiding change is how I exhibit control over my circumstances. I am tired of suffering. Some suffering we can’t avoid, such as losing a loved one, while others we can change. Yes, there is that word again. Eliminating trauma’s effects means embracing change. I may dislike change, but I am learning it is necessary.
I started taking an antidepressant last year that eliminated most of my anxiety. Earlier this year, I began taking a second antidepressant which is helping me overcome depression. Taking medication for anxiety and depression was a big step for me. I had negative experiences with anti-depressants in the past. In the spring of 2022, the suffering from both conditions became more than I could handle. I sought help out of desperation. Perhaps desperation is the main reason why we seek help. We become desperate to stop our suffering.
Taking antidepressants brought change into my life, a change I wholeheartedly embrace. It took a major depressive episode for me to entertain the idea of taking medication. I clung to my past experiences, and that clinging kept me stuck. It became triggered during April 2022, a rough month for any Armenian as the Armenian genocide began on April 24, 1915. My trauma, coupled with inter-generational trauma, plunged me into a deep depression. The therapist I saw at the time urged me to talk to my doctor about medication. I took her advice. Thank God for antidepressants.
I urge you, if you suffer from depression, to open yourself up to taking medication. Talk to your doctor and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist or psychiatric clinic. Don’t suffer when you don’t have to suffer.
I leave you with a short poem I wrote last year.
Reaching
Reaching for more
peace, love, joy.
Leaving
depression, anxiety, fear.
Choosing only
what profits me.
Releasing
what hinders me.
Holding sanity
in my hands.
Letting go
of mental chaos.
If you need encouragement, email me at thepossiblepath@gmail.com.
Help me expand The Possible Path by referring it to friends and family and sharing it on social media. I will send you a short guide on PTSD if you refer it to three people.
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The picture is the first one ever taken of me. I offer it up here as a way of embracing my true self, the self God created that tiny baby to be.
Resources
The Mighty is an information and social media site for people diagnosed with a health or mental health condition. I highly recommend it.
Love that you're doing meditation you and I have discussed this before so you know how important I believe it is
Yes, God Bless you Gina. It seems everyone is dealing better than I. You are an inspiration. JB