Resilience. What does that word mean? And how do I know I am resilient as a childhood trauma survivor? Does the mere fact that I survived being sexually abused by an uncle mean I am resilient?
Merriam-Webster defines the word as, “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” That meaning does not seem to fit a sexual abuse survivor. No one recovers easily from child sexual abuse. Does that mean that as survivors we are not resilient? “Resilience is about rebounding from adversity and overcoming or lessening the effects of trauma,” according to the School of Social Work at the University of Michigan. From that definition, we can infer that entering the recovery process, including seeking help, means a survivor is resilient.
Resiliency and post-traumatic growth
Childhood trauma affects the brain. Studies show that trauma hinders the ability to cope with stressors and affects resiliency. In one study, researchers looked at the resilience of adult survivors of childhood trauma and found that emotional abuse particularly affected adult resiliency capacity. Another study found that adult survivors of childhood abuse were less optimistic.
However, other studies show that trauma survivors can experience post-traumatic growth.
Post-traumatic growth is a term coined in the 1990s by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun. It refers to the positive psychological changes that result from trauma recovery. Tedeschi and Calhoun developed “The Post-Traumatic Growth Inventory,” which includes five factors: relating to others, new possibilities, personal strength, spiritual change, and appreciation for life.
In an article for the Harvard Business Review, Tedeschi lists the five ways we can facilitate post-traumatic growth:
Education. He mentions learning to regulate emotions. Part of this is leaning into our emotions. For example, when I feel fearful, I do not fight it. I allow myself to feel the fear while I practice deep breathing and tapping simultaneously. By doing so, I learn about what fear feels like in my body while learning emotional regulation.
Disclosure. Talk about what happened to you with a trusted person and possibly a therapist. Talk about your struggles and how trauma has affected you.
Narrative development. Know that your story involves overcoming the effects of trauma. Read memoirs of people who overcome childhood trauma.
Service. Helping others will help you. Find a way to serve others no matter how small. You will reap big benefits.
Building resiliency
Part of post-traumatic growth is building resiliency. There are many ways we can make ourselves more resilient. Here are some of them:
Spirituality. Belief in a higher power gives us a strength we can rely on during tough times. A meta-analysis of trauma and spirituality stated that “religious frameworks and practices may have an important influence on how people interpret and cope with traumatic events.” In other words, spirituality helps us cope with the aftereffects of trauma.
Mindfulness meditation. Studies support mindfulness meditation as a helpful treatment for trauma. The key component of mindfulness is being in the present moment. The more we are in the present moment, the more resilient we become. Numerous apps can help you get started practicing mindfulness meditation. See the resources section after this article for links to a few.
Self-care. Taking care of ourselves is key to recovery and an important part of building resiliency. Try journaling, developing positive self-talk, meditation, practicing gratitude, and spending time outside.
You are resilient
You may look at your past and think, “I’m not resilient at all.” You would be wrong. The fact that you survived childhood trauma means you are indeed resilient. You are stronger and braver than you think. And you are becoming more resilient every day as you stay in the recovery process.
Image by WOKANDAPIX from Pixabay
Resources
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Love and appreciate you, dear Gina. Keep up the good work in sharing your healing journey. <3