We want quick healing from childhood trauma. We live in a fast-food society that wants everything ASAP. However, we couldn’t handle healing quickly, if we are honest. It would overwhelm our brains, bodies, and spirits. As children, we learned coping mechanisms that helped us survive. Those behaviors and mindsets are within us. They are like trees with deep, long, and big roots. Pulling them out suddenly would damage us.
We pull out the roots slowly and carefully with our tools. Going too fast can bring more trauma. I am reading a book about shame. As I read the book, I start feeling hot and slightly dizzy, so I am reading the book very slowly. It occurred to me today that I have a traumatic response as I read it because I relate to much of it. Part of me wants to sit with the book and read it every chance I can. A wiser part of me knows I can only handle reading a few pages a day and chewing on what I read.
Slow. It’s not a word we like in our society. It implies lagging and no one wants to a laggard. Think of the meaning of the word laggard for a moment: “lagging or tending to lag: slow especially compared to others of the same kind.” None of us desire to be slower than others. Keeping pace with people is desirable. However, when it comes to recovery, throw out all of the notions on progress you learned. They don’t apply here. Progress is measured in increments and not in marathons. You heal when you heal, regardless of how long it takes.
Application
3 ways to encourage yourself
Are you discouraged by your progress? Try doing these three things.
Take deep breaths. Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. Breathe in slightly less than you breathe out. As you breathe in, think, “peace in,” and as you breathe out, think, “peace out.” Keep deep breathing until you feel discouragement start dissipating.
Here is a simple journaling exercise. Write down all of the progress you have made, no matter how small. Nothing is insignificant.
Try a tapping meditation to dispel any lingering discouragement. If you are unfamiliar with tapping, then scroll down and watch the video below first. Start by tapping on the karate chop point and say three times, “Even though I’m discouraged about my progress, I love and accept myself.” Then tap on the following points:
Eyebrow: I’m discouraged.
Side of eye: I don’t see progress.
Under eye: I only see how far I have to go.
Under nose: It feels like a mountain.
Chin: How can I climb it?
Collarbone: It’s just too much.
Under arm: I heal too slowly.
Top of head: But maybe I am making progress.
Eyebrow: Perhaps my progress is slow for a reason.
Side of eye: Maybe I need to healing slowly.
Under eye: And maybe I need to look at how far I have come.
Under nose: I choose now to let go of discouragement.
Chin: I see that I am healing little by little.
Collarbone: Every bit counts towards progress.
Under arm: I am in recovery and my recovery is happening right on time.
Top of head: I am a beautiful work in progress.
Resources
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw
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God bless you for sharing your healing journey and coping skills when discouragement comes. Love you <3
I'm afraid that I can't afford to upgrade to paid but I'm going to comment it sounds like you're healing and that makes me happy 😊