“Each of us has a self that exists undamaged and whole, from the moment we are born, waiting to be reclaimed.” Jewel
We create false selves to survive childhood trauma. Children can’t cope with the weight of traumatic experiences because their brains are developing. Our true selves became squished inside us, and we formed a false self. Our false self is not evil. It simply is not our true self. Becoming who our Creator designed us to be is the goal of recovery.
When we discover our true selves, we realize that we don’t need unnecessary suffering, especially the effects of trauma. I had a phone consultation yesterday with a prospective therapist who told me that I suffered enough, and it is time for relief. Indeed, it is time for both you and me. We can overcome what weighs us down. We can leave behind anxiety, depression, and any other trauma effect.
Our false selves hold onto defense mechanisms. Those defense mechanisms are attempts at regulating our emotions. Dysregulation means “being unable to control emotions in the way that most people can.” Trauma damages the brain, including the amygdala, which is one of the areas of the brain linked with emotions. In other words, the damage caused by traumatic childhood events harms our brain’s ability to regulate emotions.
Undoing damage uncovers the true self
The good news is that the damage can be undone. Neuroplasticity means the brain can modify, change, and adapt. If we want to discover our true selves, we have to undo the damage done to our brains. Tapping, meditation, deep breathing, prayer, and yoga rewire the brain. Certain types of therapy also rewire the brain. For the rest of this article, I will focus on various therapies proven to help PTSD.
The therapist I talk to specializes in dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), which focuses on four core skills: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal skills. DBT is scientifically proven to reduce PTSD severity. In one study, researchers discovered that participants who received DBT “had higher rates of symptomatic remission” of PTSD.
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is another scientifically proven therapy that helps PTSD symptoms. Here is what EMDR Institude, Inc. says about it:
“EMDR therapy is an eight-phase treatment. Eye movements (or other bilateral stimulation) are used during one part of the session. After the clinician has determined which memory to target first, he asks the client to hold different aspects of that event or thought in mind and to use his eyes to track the therapist’s hand as it moves back and forth across the client’s field of vision.”
Two other types of therapy seem promising: Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) and internal family systems. MBCT combines cognitive therapy with meditation and mindfulness. In a 2013 study, researchers found that MBCT provided “meaningful improvement in PTSD symptom severity.” Internal family systems view people as having a system of wounded inner parts with a core self as the leader. It helps traumatized people access and heal their wounded inner parts.
It takes courage to get help, the therapist I consulted with this week told me. Not many trauma survivors seek help, according to her. I understand why. Turning to a stranger for help is scary, particularly when you spent your life running from traumatic events. However, the act of finding help can be the turning point in finding our true selves. It is worth any fear or trepidation we may feel. As a title of a book proclaims, feel the fear and do it anyway.
“I promise you that the discovery of your true self will feel like a thousand pounds of weight have fallen from your back.” Richard Rohr
If you need encouragement, email me at thepossiblepath@gmail.com. You can also connect with me on Instagram at @possiblepath.
Resources
Never Broken by Jewel
Immortal Diamond by Richard Rohr
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I agree with everything you said especially getting help from a therapist