How to Manage Your Emotions When Triggered

Many of us toss the word trigger(s) around without thinking much about what it means. The National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI) defines a trigger as “an action or situation that can lead to an adverse emotional reaction. In the context of mental illness, referring to triggers usually means something that has brought on or worsened symptoms.”

Three years ago, I read a book by David Richo titled Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing. A trigger restimulates the original trauma, according to Richo. Trauma is the Greek word for wound. “A trauma is a shocking, injuring event,” Richo writes. During the trauma, many dissociate like I repeatedly did. Dissociation makes the memory hard to retrieve and takes time to absorb and resolve trauma. For example, my brain blocked out the memories of sexual abuse until I was 22 years old. It took years to feel what I repressed. I am still resolving the effects of the trauma.

Recognizing Our Triggers

Knowing the sources of triggers helps us to recognize when a trigger reaction starts. Richo cites three areas inside of us that are sources of trigger reactions:

• Shadow, a term coined by Carl Jung, refers to unacceptable traits, desires, impulses, and attitudes. 

• Ego, a term coined by Sigmund Freud, refers to the “I” or “me” part of our personalities. 

• Early life, that is, the trauma.

He recommends asking yourself if one or more areas are activated when triggered. Here are other recommendations:

• Accept your shadow self and see ways to use it. For example, if you are controlling, become more efficient at leading without controlling others. 

• Reduce ego reaction. Work through your hurts, pain, and resentment from childhood. 

• Use affirmations. We can say every morning, “May I say yes to all that happens to me today as an opportunity to love more and fear less.”

Using CBT To Overcome Negative Thinking

“We can reprogram our neurological pathways to change our self-defeating patterns.” David Richo

Part of dealing with emotional triggers is rewiring our brains, and one way is with positive thoughts. Richo quotes the Bible verse, Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” 

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques can help us change our thinking. For example, I often think disparaging thoughts about myself. I write down that thought along with the type of cognitive distortion it is, and I replace it with a more rational thought. 

• Thought: I am not worthy of love.

• Cognitive distortion type: Emotional reasoning

• Rational thought: I am a child of God. and I am worthy of love.

I highly recommend using this technique when negative thoughts about yourself come to mind. Try dividing a paper into three columns. It will take time to overcome self-talk. As trauma survivors, most of us have spent a lifetime disparaging ourselves. That kind of thinking does not go away the first time you practice a CBT technique. 

DBT Skills For Triggers

We can choose to regulate our emotions rather than suppress them. Dialectical behavioral therapy skills (DBT) can help us achieve emotional regulation when triggered. Repressing emotions disrupts a healthy process where we feel them and let them go. Feeling emotions is key for dealing with triggers. The moment the trigger happens, grab a notebook and write down how you feel. 

Name your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Put a word on it. Label a thought a thought and a feeling a feeling. Use only the facts: who, what, when, and where. Our interpretations of situations, conversations, and events can trigger a trauma response. Base your interpretation on facts. Test and see if your interpretation is fact-based by considering what you can observe. Do not jump to conclusions. Unglue yourself from interpretations and opinions. 

There is a practice you can use daily to help yourself when you are triggered. Observe your thoughts. I like to do this by spending time every day in silent meditation. I use my breath as the focus. When I lose focus and thoughts come, I bring my attention back. I learn much about my thoughts as I practice this meditation. Part of observing and describing is not attaching. Thoughts are neither positive nor negative. They are just thoughts. In DBT, thoughts are either effective or ineffective. 

Resources

Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing by David Richo