Is Redemption Possible in Every Situation?
An exploration of forgiveness and the possibility of redemption.
A friend called me last Saturday to tell me someone from our church died. He was 78 years old and one of the best storytellers I have known. I could listen to the same story over and over. A 35-year-old drunk man in a blue Chevy Silverado struck Mike’s white Toyota Tundra. Mike died before rescuers could fly him to a hospital.
In October, Ryan Trevino, the man who killed Mike, faced DUI (drinking while intoxicated) charges. He appeared in court four days before the crash, and the judge ordered him not to drive and not drink at all. However, the judge denied a request from the prosecutors for Ryan to attend Alcoholics Anonymous. Ryan had two previous DUI charges in 2007 and 2018. That man has a monkey called alcoholism on his back, as large as California.
As my friend told me about Mike’s death, I thought of the time I drove drunk many years ago. I swore to myself I would not drive drunk, but I fell off the proverbial wagon and had wine coolers at an outdoor concert with a friend, and she was in the car. Nothing happened. I was lucky. I also quit drinking not long after that incident.
Unlocking the Path to Redemption
Do I deserve redemption for what I foolishly did so long ago? In the Lord’s Prayer (the Our Father for my Catholic friends), we pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debts.” (Some pray, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”) That line implies that God forgives those who ask for forgiveness.
A verse in the New Testament comes to mind about forgiveness of sin. The word sin in Greek is an archery term that means missing the mark. Sin is a theological concept but also missing the mark of goodness. I am including the verse in its context because context is king and queen in biblical interpretation.
“This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
The verse in bold means that if we tell God what we did and ask for forgiveness, He grants it and heals our souls (restoration). However, forgiveness is not redemption; that happens when we take responsibility for our sins and turn our lives around. I experienced redemption when I stopped drinking. If we ask God for forgiveness but live differently for a few months and then turn around and commit the same sins, we are not redeemed.
Is Redemption Possible for Everyone, or Do Some People Not Deserve It?
Redeem is the root word of redemption, and one of redeem’s meanings is “to change for the better: reform.” The word change is the key. We must change if we want redemption. But is redemption possible for Ryan? My mother, a very compassionate and kind woman, once told me as a kid that if Hitler had asked God for forgiveness and truly meant it, God would have forgiven him. I took those words to heart then.
I still believe redemption is possible in any situation, but it is not always likely. Ryan is not Hitler. He is an alcoholic who has probably not sought help or treatment. He is living out of his false self, as so many of us do. Richard Rohr, a Catholic priest and prolific spiritual writer, defines the false self as “who you think you are.” He adds the caveat that “thinking doesn’t make it so.”
Most of us have “four major splits” from reality that we make to create our false self, according to Rohr, in his book Immortal Diamond:
We split from our shadow self and pretend to be our idealized self.
We split from our mind from our body and soul and live in our minds.
We split from death and try to live our life without any “death.”
We split ourselves from other selves and try to live apart, superior, and separate.
I am sure that Ryan has had all four splits. I am also sure that he is unaware that he has a false self. Alcoholism traps him, and his emotional prison led him to kill Mike. He will stay in a physical prison, possibly for life. Ryan can find redemption, but he has to accept forgiveness and want to change. He has to repent. I did prison ministry in a women’s prison for about a year. I met women who told me they found God , forgiveness, and emotional freedom in prison. Their eyes were clear and bright.
Alcoholism is a disease that can kill others, not just the alcoholic. And my desire to forgive Ryan and have compassion doesn’t mean that I don’t want him locked up for a long time because I do. He is a menace to society. Yet, I know that redemption remains a possibility for him. I will keep him in my prayers. It is what Mike, a man of great faith in God and a believer in redemption, would want me to do.
Resources
Immortal Diamond: The Search For Our True Self by Richard Rohr
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I am so grateful for God's forgiveness and that He helps us to forgive others. Yes, Mike would want us to pray for and forgive the man who chose to drive drunk and killed him. <3