No covid. That is the good news, which means I probably have the flu. I am almost over it. I still feel very tired, and that is the reason why I skipped last week’s newsletter. I see a lesson. It is a lesson in relinquishing control to my Creator. I can plan and plan but life throws the ole curve ball at me.
I cannot maintain control but only the illusion of it. I line up my facial care products in the medicine cabinet, giving me a semblance of control over what happens. The truth is that I lack control. I cannot control the weather, as this year’s rainy season in California has reminded me. On Sunday night, I sat alone while it poured fiercely. The wind blew the rain onto the patio. I could hear it lashing the patio’s glass door. The power went out for only 15 minutes. I scrambled to find candles and lit them. I notified the power company of the outage. As I went looking for a flashlight, the power came on.
More than just literal light came on with the power. A light within came on. I remembered that I lack control over everything but my reaction to what will happen. Controlling my reactions is a powerful thing I can do. Instead of panicking when the power went out, and a flash flood warning came on my phone, I found candles. I did get irritated, I confess. I blurted out loudly, I feel like I am in Louisiana. I said it in anger. This is California, I thought. When the lights came on, I remembered that I could choose to put into practice what I learned during tapping and meditation: calmness.
God did not create us as robots who blindly follow. We have the power to choose. We have free will. And yes, sometimes I make a doozy of a wrong choice. I react badly. Other times, my reactions and choices are a mix of positive and negative. There are times when I make positive choices and react calmly, which does not occur as much as I would prefer. I am a work in progress. I am in recovery. I take an antidepressant and I attend therapy weekly. I tap and meditate every day. I spend time reading my Bible and other inspirational books every morning. I write in my journal. I pray and leave the rest to God.
Choose wisely. Choose recovery and yourself. Choose to embrace love, kindness, and compassion. Start by being kind, loving, and compassionate to yourself. When you make a wrong choice or react negatively, tell yourself, “There is grace for that.” Take a deep breath and relinquish control to the One who created you.
That is what I tell myself. I hope it helps someone reading this newsletter. I share with you what helps me. As people say in twelve-step groups, take what you like and leave the rest.
*I took the picture right before the storm.
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Praise God that you are on the mend. I pray that you are doing much better now. Yes, letting go of control isn't easy, but it is so wonderful when we give control to God. May the Lord continue to bless you dear Gina. Love you and keeping you in prayer. <3
So glad you don't have Covid but the flu is bad as well please take care of yourself
Letting go of control is one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Good for you