My therapist ended our session last Monday by asking me to practice good self-care this week. I began the session by admitting that I tend to put myself last. There are several reasons why. I have struggled with low self-esteem my whole life. Enduring sexual abuse as a very young child taught me that I am worthless. However, abuse is a terrible teacher and a liar.
I have stepped up my journaling practice as my way of practicing self-care. I write four pages in my journal every day. Because I consider one page of a journal the front and back, I am actually writing eight pages. The journals I buy are book-size, so the pages are small. I break up my journal writing into two sessions: when I wake up and before bed.
Something New
Yesterday, I had over two inches of my very long hair cut off. Because my hair is curly, it shrinks up and looks like much more was lopped off. This new hairstyle is symbolic of what is happening inside of me. I am shedding the effects of trauma that have weighed me down. Sometimes we need a visible reminder of the hard work we do as trauma survivors.
What I’m Reading
I always have a stack of books I am reading. I read a bit every night before bed. I don’t usually watch much television. Instead, I opt for the wisdom and comfort of a good book. I am also reading a novel, but I will write about that one later.
The Tears of Things: The Wisdom For An Age of Outrage by Richard Rohr
Richard Rohr, a Catholic priest and prolific author, turns to prophetic writings in the Old Testament/Hebrew bible to learn how to confront injustice and evil. I am only on chapter three, but I am already completely hooked.
The Zen Approach Through Depression by Philip Martin
The Kindle app recommended this book to me. One thing I am learning from this book is to look for the lessons depression can teach me while I work on stopping it.
The Endless Practice: Becoming Who You Were Born To Be by Mark Nepo
Mark Nepo is a writer who never disappoints. This book is no exception. My prayer for decades has been, “Lord, make me into who You created me to be.” This book teaches me that I must choose to live out of my true self.
Wherever You Are, There You Go: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn
I have been reading this book for two and a half months. The chapters are very short, so I only read one a night to remind me to live in the moment.
Writing In the Sand: Jesus, Spirituality, and the Soul of the Gospels by Thomas Moore
I want to live out the teachings of Jesus and not merely proclaim that I believe in Him. I haven’t yet finished the first chapter, but I know this book will help me learn how to do so.
Journaling Prompt
What can your present circumstances teach you?
Quote
“Life is the moment we’re living right now…Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.” Paul Coelho
Prayer
Oh Lord, this Easter Sunday, please remind me that through the death of my false self, I become my true self. Guide me as I navigate the path of recovery, and help me to see the lessons in every circumstance.
Question
What are you doing to practice self-care?