Emotion mind rules us when something triggers us. Emotion mind is one of the three states of mind in dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). The other two are rational mind and wise mind. When emotion mind rules us, logic, facts, and reason are not unimportant. However, when rational mind rules us, feelings and values are unimportant. Wise mind is the balance of the two. It is the wisdom within.
It is hard to be in wise mind when triggered. However, practicing observation skills will help us shift to wise mind. Labeling what we observe is the place to start. Put a label on what you observe. Name thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Put a word on it. Label a thought and a feeling a feeling. Use only the facts: who, what, when, and where.
Our interpretations of situations, conversations, and events can trigger a trauma response. Base your interpretation on facts. Test and see if your interpretation is fact-based by considering what you can observe. Do not jump to conclusions. Unglue yourself from interpretations and opinions.
“If you can’t observe it, you can’t describe it.” Pa Kou Vue, my DBT therapist
Observe your thoughts. I like to do this by spending time every day in silent meditation. I use my breath as the focus. When I lose focus and thoughts come, I bring my attention back. I learn much about my thoughts as I practice this meditation. Part of observing and describing is not attaching. Thoughts are neither positive nor negative. They are just thoughts. In DBT, thoughts are either effective or ineffective.
Five ways to practice observation skills
The DBT Skills Training Manual by Marsha Linehan (linked in the resources section below) lists five ways to practice observation skills:
Notice your body sensations (coming through your eyes, ears, nose, skin, and tongue).
Pay attention on purpose, to the present moment.
Control your attention, but not what you see. Push away nothing. Cling to nothing.
Practice wordless watching: Watch thoughts come into your mind and let them slip right by like clouds in the sky. Notice each feeling, rising and falling, like waves in the ocean.
Observe both inside and outside yourself.
If you are familiar with mindfulness meditation, you will notice that the above DBT practices are mindfulness-based. I highly recommend developing a daily meditation practice. There are great apps that can help. My favorite is the Balance app (linked below). You answer questions about your meditation skills level and what you want to achieve through meditation. The app tailors meditations to you and your needs.
I hope you enjoy the video. I plan to include a video once a week. (And yes, I can’t talk without my hands.)
Resources
DBT Skills Training Manual by Marsha Linehan
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Good job Gina. Love you and so proud of you. <3
Perfect love every word of it