Overcoming Trauma Triggers
A review of the book, Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing by David Richo
Cover of the book, Triggers by David Richo
Stopping dissociation means dealing with triggers. It is time for me to revisit David Richo’s book, Triggers. I read it three years ago, and during those years, I started taking antidepressants and therapy. I have changed. I pulled up the file with my notes and realized his book makes more sense now. Here is a summary of what I learned.
Being triggered does not mean we are dysfunctional. However, our reaction to a trigger might be dysfunctional. The amygdala is the brain's alarm system. It stores original traumas and fear reactions. It can silence our rational minds. When that happens, we turn to our unhealthy but familiar coping techniques.
“Triggers activate the sympathetic nervous system. We are then moved to fight, flight, or freeze. Stress hormones are released.” David Richo
The prefrontal cortex (PFC) comprises over 10 percent of the brain’s volume. It is best known for executive functions, including decision-making, problem-solving, and self-control. The PFC temporarily disables when we are triggered, and the amygdala and limbic system, the part of the brain responsible for emotional and behavioral responses, take over. We feel a trigger in our bodies.
A trigger restimulates the original trauma. Trauma is the Greek word for wound. “A trauma is a shocking, injuring event,” Richo writes. During the trauma, many dissociate like I repeatedly did. Dissociation makes the memory hard to retrieve, and takes time to absorb and resolve trauma. My brain blocked out the memories of sexual abuse until I was 22 years old. It took years to feel what I repressed. I am still resolving the effects of the trauma.
Richo cites three areas inside of us that are sources of trigger reactions:
Shadow, a term coined Carl Jung, refers to unacceptable traits, desires, impulses, and attitudes.
Ego, a term coined by Sigmund Freud, refers to the “I” or “me” part of our personalities.
Early life, that is, the trauma.
He recommends asking yourself if one or more of the areas are activated when you are triggered. Here are other recommendations:
Accept your shadow self and see ways to use it. For example, if you are controlling, become more efficient at leading without controlling others.
Reduce ego reaction. Work through your hurts, pain, and resentment from childhood.
Use affirmations. We can say every morning, “May I say yes to all that happens to me today as an opportunity to love more and fear less.”
Post-traumatic growth
“We can reprogram our neurological pathways to change our self-defeating patterns.”
Triggers retraumatize us. Our brain thinks a trigger is dangerous, but triggers can “turn our wounds into entryways.” We can have post-traumatic growth, a concept from Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun in their book Post-Traumatic Growth in Clinical Practice. Richo recommends focusing on growth and not just the trauma.
We can rewire our brains, and one way is with positive thoughts. Richo quotes the Bible verse, Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Mindfulness is “an essential tool” for reducing triggers and handling the ones we experience. Mindfulness helps us locate the pause between a trigger and a reaction. I highly recommend the Balance app for practicing mindfulness meditation. Whatever stage you are in as a meditator (beginning, intermediate, or advanced), Balance will benefit you. And no, the app is not sponsoring me.
I suppressed my emotions as a child to survive. It helped me through tough times then, but it harms me as an adult. Richo says we can choose to regulate our emotions rather than suppress them. Repressing emotions disrupts a healthy process where we feel them and let them go. Feeling emotions is key for dealing with triggers. Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) helps me learn how to feel emotions and not get entangled in them when I am triggered.
Journaling prompts
Richo includes many journaling prompts. One of those is looking at the five “As”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, allowing. He recommends looking at how they were or were not fulfilled in childhood, and writing down one example for each in a journal.
Here are more of Richo’s journaling prompts in the form of questions:
What is unresolved in my life that I am imagining being in a relationship might fix?
How does my own story about my family influence my sense of who I am now?
How does my experience with my parents influence my way of being with others?
What attitudes from my family have remained in me and now influence my ability to accept others as they are?
How were these feelings expressed in my childhood? (sadness, anger, fear, or joy)
How comfortable or uncomfortable am I with any of these feelings in others?
How am I comfortable or uncomfortable with any of these feelings in myself?
How skillful am I at stating and maintaining personal boundaries?
How do my family biases get in the way of accepting those who differ from me politically or religiously?
What behavior can lead me to become so judgmental that I find it hard to feel or show compassion for another’s plight?
How skilled am I becoming in self-parenting?
How much and what of me reflects my own deepest needs, values, and wishes?
Was it safe to be me?
Was I loved as myself or as the self they demanded I be?
Did my parents patrol or hold me?
Did my parents acknowledge me for my accomplishments or for being me?
Do I now see myself as my parents saw me or as I really am?
I confess I have not yet explored these questions and written them down. When I do, I will incorporate some of them into an article.
Resources
Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing by David Richo
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I appreciate you sharing some valuable information to help us all on our healing journeys too. Love you, dear Gina <3
I love that you are feeling the feelings