“There is no timestamp on trauma. There isn’t a formula that you can insert yourself into to get from horror to healed. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm.” Dawn Serra
Patience is not a word I like. It is a concept that does not come quickly to me. I hate waiting. Hell, I do not particularly appreciate waiting in line at a store. We live in a fast-food society. I know that I am one of many who dislike waiting.
Waiting is part of the trauma recovery process. There is no getting around it. I know because I tried accelerating the process. News flash: I failed. Now more than ever I am reminded that patience is a requirement while I heal. I am waiting for the antidepressant to kick in. I am waiting to hear back from the counseling center about starting EMDR. I feel as if I am perpetually waiting these days.
Most religions extol the virtues of patience. I know that the Bible does. Go and Google the words "patience and Bible." You will see a long list of passages and verses. Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit in the New Testament book of Galatians. Despite the importance put on patience in the Bible, in Christian circles I have heard people joke, “Don’t pray for patience. God will give it to you through difficult people.” There is an underlying fear of waiting in that joke. We are products of our culture, and our culture demands speed.
There are no quick fixes in recovery. I know that while antidepressants help with the chemical aspects of my depression and anxiety, there are other factors. As the title of Bessel van der Kolk’s book states, the body keeps the score. All of the abuse I endured as a child impacted my body and brain. There is still trauma trapped within my body. I believe EMDR will help clear it. However, after that happens, I still must deal with my mindset.
Recovery is like peeling a layer of an onion. You peel one layer and find there is another one that needs attention. It takes fortitude and that dreaded word patience. One of the definitions of the word patient is “steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity.” Opposition occurs in recovery, and it comes from ourselves. It is not easy dealing with the effects of trauma. We recoil from anything uncomfortable. Recovery is hard, and heaven knows staying with the process is one of the hardest things we can do.
Cultivating patience
Affirmations are one way that we can continue. Here are some affirmations that help me:
Any bit of discomfort is worth the price of healing.
I am strong enough to bear any discomfort from trauma recovery as one created in God’s image
Healing is my goal, and nothing will stand in my way of reaching that goal.
I am a survivor, and I will turn into a thriver.
Write down affirmations. Say them over and over. Look in the mirror and tell yourself what you need to hear. You are the one who can encourage yourself the most. You can become your loudest cheerleader as you navigate the waters of healing from trauma. Do not let discouragement stop you from recovering. When you start thinking about the time healing takes, remind yourself how far you have come. Grab your journal and write down your progress. Nothing that you have gained is too little to write down and celebrate.
Patience is a virtue that we cultivate. We do it by saying our affirmations over and over like mantras. The more we say them, the less frustrated and discouraged we become, and that causes us to feel more peace and joy. The choice is ours.
If you need encouragement, email me at thepossiblepath@gmail.com or connect with me on Instagram.
Resources
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
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God bless you, dear Gina for your open heart and wisdom that God is giving you on this healing journey. Patience is so important and many times we just need to breathe and go forward, thanking God for the gift of life. <3 one day at a time.
I couldn't agree more without patience my life, my loves and everything else wouldn't be worth 2