I didn’t post anything here last week for several reasons. One, I had a sinus infection. Two, I became aware of how much shame I still carry regarding the sexual abuse I endured as a child. And last but certainly not least, I knew today (I’m writing this on April 24) would be difficult. On April 24, 1915, the Armenian genocide began. I am Armenian through my mother. I descend from both survivors and victims of genocide. Turkey’s continued denial of the genocide their forbears committed causes pain for all Armenians.
Last week, I applied big doses of self-care. I tapped to release shame, which is like a root inside me. During my time of meditation, I sat with the feeling of shame. I let them wash over me, and when the timer sounded, I felt less shame. I took many naps because my body needed rest. I wrote down what I experienced, taking note of what was shifting.
Self-care is always a good idea. We can’t be there for others unless we take care of ourselves. Consider the old analogy of the person on the plane that first puts the mask on themselves before helping someone else put it on. Take care of your needs. Don’t ignore them. Learning to care for ourselves is part of recovery from trauma. As children, many of us had periods when we couldn’t control our bodies because of abuse. However, we are not those abused children any longer. We are adults capable of figuring out and meeting our needs.
Self-care is spiritual. Jesus took time away from the crowds who surrounded Him for times of solitude and prayer. He knew His needs and found a way to meet them. We can use Him as an example whenever we feel selfish about practicing self-care. If the man Christians consider God in the flesh took time for self-care, shouldn’t we?
Shame can keep us from meeting our needs. We often ignore the messages our bodies and spirits send us if we feel we are not enough. The truth is that we are enough because we were created in the image of a loving Creator. Any abuse that perpetrators inflicted on us is not our fault. If you struggle with thoughts of self-blame for the abuse you endured, say out loud, “It was NOT my fault.” Keep saying it over and over until it sinks in. Write it down.
Yes, I am taking my own advice. I frequently write down in my journal that what my uncle did to me is not my fault. I say it out loud. I will keep speaking it and writing it down until every last bit of shame clinging within leaves me. Shame is a trap imprisoning us in self-doubts. We can free ourselves from shame. It takes much self-care, but it’s worth the work. We are created for freedom and not for prison.
Application
How are you practicing self-care? If you are not, what is something easy you can do for yourself this week?
Resources
If you want to know more about the Armenian genocide and Turkey’s continued denial campaign, check out the following articles:
Armenians Suffer Transgenerational Trauma A Century After the Genocide
Turkey Continues to Deny Armenian Genocide
Image by Kai Miano from Pixabay
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I so admire your self care objective and your beautiful artwork and writing
✌ and ♥,
Sal
I'm very glad you took care of yourself and freed posting to do it.