Understanding the Deep Connection between Addiction and Trauma
Early in my childhood, the tentacles of addiction wrapped around me. I began using desserts to comfort me, to numb the pain caused by sexual abuse. Being a skinny kid, no one saw it as a problem. By the time I was a teen, I would eat less dinner, so I had room in my stomach for dessert. By my late teens, I started using alcohol to numb my pain. I quit drinking long ago, but I still struggle to unwrap myself from food addiction.
Addiction is a brain disease, regardless of the type of addiction. It is not a matter of willpower, as I always believed. Addiction occurs when the brain’s reward system becomes overwhelmed. The reward system is one of the most primitive parts of the brain. It reinforces the behaviors we need to survive. Eating is one of those behaviors. When we eat, the reward system activates dopamine, which gives us a sense of satisfaction. That feeling encourages you to eat again.
An addiction indicates that the brain has begun to change. Addictive substances such as narcotics or alcohol release more dopamine than a natural reward such as eating a meal. The brain remembers it and associates the reward with the addictive substance. However, the brain becomes less sensitive to dopamine over time, and we need more to have the same reward level.
Food can be just as addictive as narcotics or alcohol, particularly foods with high amounts of refined sugars and fats. Chronic consumption of foods laden with sugar and fat changes the brain’s reward system. A study published in 2023 found that snacking daily on high-fat and high-sugar foods reduces the preference for healthier food. There is a link between a family history of alcoholism and craving high-sugar foods. Alcohol and sugar addiction have similar neurological pathways. Researchers think that there is a common genetic marker between alcoholism, bulimia, and obesity.
All of my great-grandfathers but one were alcoholics. While alcoholism skipped two generations in my family, three of my grandparents were children of alcoholic fathers. How that manifested in all three was a preference for high-sugar foods. My maternal grandmother once told me she ate a two-pound box of chocolates within three or four hours. She had extensive childhood trauma. It is not a coincidence that I battled alcoholism and now struggle with food addiction, namely to sugary foods.
Trauma's Role in the Genesis of Addiction
The trauma I experienced as a child, combined with my genetics, set me up for addiction. Researchers have found a link between childhood trauma and addiction. A study with 587 participants found a link between substance use and all forms of childhood abuse, along with PTSD symptoms. Another study explored the associations between trauma and addiction, and researchers found people who survive trauma are at risk for substance and behavioral addictions. Researchers analyzed nearly 500 patients in a detoxification unit. The majority of patients reported experiencing physical and sexual abuse as a child.
The adverse childhood experiences survey lists 10 types of traumatic childhood experiences. My score is a four. Researchers had 4,378 patients in a behavioral health center fill out the ACE survey. They discovered that 84.8 percent of patients reported at least one ACE and 49.1 percent had a score of four. Experiencing one or more ACES predicted addiction to alcohol or narcotics. And ACES are also linked to food addiction. College students filled out an online survey measuring their ACEs and food addiction. Researchers found that early life experiences impacted the students' relation to food and sometimes led to food addiction.
Child abuse can often lead to food addiction. A study of over 57,000 adults found a correlation between physical and sexual abuse and food addiction. “A history of child abuse is strongly associated with food addiction in this population,” the authors concluded.” The link between sexual abuse and food addiction is particularly strong, perhaps because abusing someone sexually is the ultimate violation of their bodily autonomy. Researchers analyzing the diagnosis assessments and questionnaires of 187 participants found that child sexual abuse had the highest risk of food addiction.
Depression, Anxiety, and Trauma
Depression and anxiety are often after-effects of childhood trauma, for trauma changes the brain. The amygdala, the brain’s danger detector, in trauma survivors is often enlarged. I struggled with depression and anxiety as far back as I can remember. Depression and other mental health disorders run heavily in my family. As a child, I attempted to self-medicate with high-sugar foods, and that bled over into my adult life. I see my past drinking as an extension of alcohol and sugar breakdown similarly in the body.
You can't treat addiction without treating mood disorders, including depression and anxiety. I’m a prime example. While I managed to stay sober for a long time, my food addiction worsened. I turned to sugary foods to help me cope. Two years ago, I realized that I needed to consider medication after the therapist I saw at the time mentioned it. I made an appointment with my doctor, who prescribed Celexa, an antidepressant. It helped with anxiety but not depression. Last year, I started taking Wellbutrin, which greatly reduced my depression.
I am overcoming food addiction, and dealing with the roots of addiction in general. I started dialectical behavioral therapy last year. Being a mindfulness-based therapy, it resonates with me. Nine months into DBT, and I am nearing the end of it. Each week my therapist gives me tools to help me overcome food addiction and ultimately recover from the childhood trauma that ripped my brain and life apart. When I finish DBT therapy, I will start therapy with someone my therapist recommended. It takes time to heal; there is no fast food recovery.
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